


If Horses Could Fly

by spj



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Space, Gen, erejean is only if you squint, they do argue tho
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-04
Updated: 2017-11-04
Packaged: 2019-01-29 07:00:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,247
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12625677
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spj/pseuds/spj
Summary: Sasha makes a pretty cool discovery about horses in space entirely by accident. Everyone is jealous of her (as they should be).





	If Horses Could Fly

**Author's Note:**

> today was sort of a hard day so i wanted to treat myself! this was really fun to write and i hope you like it :)

“Oh,” Sasha said.

She eyed the horse as it spun around slowly in circles, nearly purring.

“That’s new.”

It was an accident, honestly. She’d forgotten to put the space-suit on the horse before riding it out of the spaceship; the horse should have died. Sasha actually thought she was going to get fired over it. Well, maybe she’d still get fired, but at least now she knew horses could survive in space without a suit.

Worth.

She swam forward and grabbed the horse’s reins. “C’mon, we gotta show this to Connie and Jean!”

The horse gave her a look.

Sasha sighed. “Okay, so maybe we should tell Hanji first.”

The horse gave her another look.

“Levi?”

No.

“…Armin?”

Armin and Hanji were technically the leaders of the Survey Corps now, after Erwin died saving everyone from an accident involving an escape pod and the Sun.

Rest in peace, strange man.

The horse finally stopped glaring at her, though so she figured maybe she should talk to Armin and Hanji first.

Or, maybe she could talk to all three! At once!

Sasha grinned at the horse and bumped her space-helmet against the horse’s head. “You’re getting _so_ many space-carrots.”

 

The horse, however, didn’t get space-carrots, to its great irritation, not for another five space-hours. Hanji insisted on trying it out with four other horses before they could be sure.

Horses, it seemed, could survive in space.

Without gear.

They just didn’t need air pressure or air at all to survive, apparently.

 _And_ Sasha didn’t get fired. Good things all around.

Armin did complain about having to recalibrate the human space-suits to fit around a bare horse, but honestly in the long run she’d saved him so much money from not having to equip the horses with horse space-suits anymore that firing her would really be a detriment to _him_.

He did, however, stop her short when she asked for a promotion. “It was an accident,” he said with a knowing smile. “But, I’ll get you extra meat rations for the next month, how ‘bout that?”

“ _Deal_.”

 

It wasn’t just _any_ accident though, because Queen Historia-Christa came down from her space-palace to see for herself.

“Oh,” the Queen said.

The horse spun around in a circle, pleased with itself.

“Oh, yes. I can see how this will be useful,” she said.

“We will save trillions of dollars on horse space-suits this way, my Queen,” said Armin.

“Good, good, very good. As for Sasha?”

Sasha stopped trying to pick food out of her teeth. “Yes, the Queen?” she said, because she still hasn’t got the hang of the whole addressing royalty thing.

Historia rearranged the crown on her head before speaking. “How about an extra month’s worth of potato rations as well?”

 

Sasha woke up in the infirmary with Connie and Jean hovering uselessly over her.

She lifted a frail hand. “Did I… do good?” she croaked.

The worry in Jean’s eyes immediately snapped to disgust and irritation. “I can’t believe you started drooling so hard you went catatonic,” he said. “In front of the _Queen_ no less!”

Sasha nodded. “I’m… glad,” she rasped. “At least… I know I’ll have died… serving my people.”

“Shut up, Sasha!” Connie yowled. He leapt onto the bed and started shaking her so hard her head nearly fell off. “We _know_ you have two months’ worth of extra meat and potato rations! Cough ‘em up!”

Sasha slammed her forehead into Connie’s, causing him to fall off the bed. “No!” she shrieked. “They’re mine! All mine!”

Jean advanced, using the full force of his superior height and weight. “Learn to share!” said Jean, trying to pin Sasha’s arms down to the bed.

“No! No! No!” Sasha struggled, trying to throw Jean off of her, but he was too big and had been working out. She wished she had learned that cool thing from Annie before Annie became an enemy space-Titan.

Still, even without Annie, Jean was overconfident, and she knew how to do this:

Sasha kneed Jean in the groin.

Jean fell off her like a dead leech, grabbing at his dick and screaming in pain.

Sasha leapt up, standing on the bed like a queen surveying her territory. “Ha! Take that! You’ll take my extra rations from me when I _die_!”

The door slammed open. Levi stood on the other side.

His dead eyes filled the entire room.

“You little shits are _too fucking noisy_!”

Their screams could be heard from the other side of the space-ship.

 

Sasha was tenacious.

Levi called her a shitty worm that wouldn’t quit. Armin chose his words more carefully and said she was a ‘free spirit.’ Hanji didn’t mince words at all and called her ‘literally crazy. Like, actually, I think she’s a sociopath or something.’

That last one was hurtful, but Jean said ‘honestly if anyone’s the sociopath it’s Hanji so people in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones’ and that made Sasha feel better.

What all of that meant was there was exactly one person on the ship who didn’t know about Sasha’s extra month of rations, and that was the ship itself.

Titans, Hanji had discovered, made really good ships.

“If the Titan-shifter can survive inside a Titan, then why can’t other people?” Hanji figured. “Eren’s used his Titan form to save Armin and Mikasa, hasn’t he? Now that he can become armored, we may as well try it out.”

So they did. And they found that Eren’s armored form made an excellent space-ship.

Hanji usually liked Eren to stay connected to the Titan for a couple of weeks, just to make sure everything was okay before ripping himself out. They were still on week one, meaning Eren was still stuck somewhere near the cockpit.

And that he couldn’t escape when Sasha came to tell him the good news.

“Unfair!” Eren said.

“It’s not!”

Eren scowled. “No, no, no, that’s really, _really_ unfair! I have to stay here for _two weeks_ keeping the ship up and _you_ get a month extra rations for making a _mistake_?”

“Hey!” said Sasha. “It was a really good mistake. I saved Armin like a bajillion dollars! I’m probably a genius.”

“I _am the ship_!” Eren howled. “This is incredibly unfair! I save Armin like, _ten_ bajillion dollars on an entirely iron space-ship! This is _ridiculous_! _Armin_!”

The ship wobbled precariously from side to side as Eren struggled to express his anger without breaking everything.

“On – _horses_ – are – you – _serious_?!”

Hanji burst in first.

“Eren, Eren, what’s…” They stuttered to a halt. “…wrong?”

Hanji looked at Sasha, who was in the corner and cradling a potato in her chest. “It’s _mine_ ,” she said.

“Oh boy,” Hanji said.

Mikasa came in next, Armin hot on her heels.

“Eren!” cried Mikasa. “Are you hurt? Who hurt you?” She glared at Hanji.

Hanji held their hands up. “I feel like that’s unfair,” they said.

Armin, however, had spotted Sasha. “Ah,” he said. “I think I see the problem.”

Then Jean and Connie arrived.

“Eren!” screamed Jean. “Just because _you_ have a death wish doesn’t mean you need to get the rest of us killed too! Think about someone besides yourself for _once in your life_!”

“Shut up, horseface!” Eren screamed back.

“Guys, _calm down_ ,” said Armin, but Jean and Eren were screaming too loudly at each other to hear anything else.

Then, the door slammed open. Levi stood on the other side.

His dead eyes filled the entire room.

“You’re all too _fucking loud_!”


End file.
